Poems

December 14, 2014: This was written from my hospital bed at Truman. I couldn’t sleep that night, not only because my daughter had just died the previous evening, but also because of the thunderstorm outside and the evil bed that randomly deflated throughout the night. Since I couldn’t sleep or move around much, and I was alone with just my cell phone for company, I wrote this poem…

As the rain pours down outside my window pane while I lie in bed alone, the darkness crashes through the life I knew, but someday I’ll stumble home. Who holds my heart within my chest as it slowly groans and breaks? How much more of this life can I take? Sweet Jesus, hold me close. I cannot bear to look at You, but I also can’t bear to leave. So until I cross through Heaven’s gates, unto You I choose to cleave. To me there is no other choice except to run to you, despite the anger that I feel, I know you feel it, too. I forget sometimes that you cried, too, when Jesus was in agony. He suffered there with open arms. Thank you for letting him die for me. Because he did this out of love, I’ll be able to be with them and you, for all eternity.

December 13, 2016:

Two years gone and I miss you still the same.
Your spirit is with Jesus, but your memory remains.
In the darkness of the midnight, there’s an aching in my heart.
You should be in my arms, but instead we are apart.
The presence of your absence is as whelming as a flood
Raging over all my sadness like a crimson tide of blood.
I keep thinking time will heal me, but time only marches on
To bring me closer to your presence with Love’s eternal song.
So when you’re running through the flowers with your brothers by your side,
Remember Mommy loves you, but it wasn’t you who died.
You have gone to glory with your heart completely healed.
It’s our hearts who are broken and await the King revealed.